I'm really into asian looking animals
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
