After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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