I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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