No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
