I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
