i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
