some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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