Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
