You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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