I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I wish I could teleport
She is in my trunk
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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