it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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