Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
