we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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