Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He passed out mid-signature
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize