turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize