Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
