After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I didn't notice because vodka
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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