the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize