Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
