Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
