batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
