just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize