Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
