Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
