So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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