Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize