oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
