You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
