My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
