if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
