is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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