Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize