i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize