Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
