1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
