do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
