never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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