She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
