spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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