what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
