So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
