I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
