this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
