It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize
