dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize