I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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