I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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