oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
