Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
