Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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